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How to merge finances with your spouse after getting married

Learn how to combine your finances and create a unified financial strategy.

Yahoo Personal Finance· Getty Images
8 min read

You're getting married — congratulations! Besides finding the perfect outfit, choosing a reception hall, and selecting a cake, there's a less sexy task you and your partner need to complete: Deciding how to handle money once the wedding is over.

A conversation about spreadsheets and budgeting may be the last thing you want to do right now, but these conversations set the groundwork for a successful marriage. In fact, a 2023 study by the Indiana University Kelley School of Business found that married couples who manage their money together tend to have stronger, happier relationships.

Learn how to merge finances after marriage to create a strong foundation for your partnership.

Unfortunately, many couples are unprepared to handle money as a team, leading to significant issues. A recent Ipsos poll found that 1 in 3 married respondents view money as a source of conflict in their relationship.

Merging finances after marriage can be challenging, but taking the time to do the work now will pay off in the long run — and help you achieve financial harmony. As you count down to your wedding date, complete the following steps:

Traditionally, merging your finances meant combining all of your accounts and sharing bank accounts. While that approach can be useful for many, it's not the only way to handle your finances as a couple.

Sit down with your partner and discuss what strategies make sense to you. Depending on your situation, you may decide on one of the following:

  • Joint: With a joint approach, all of your income is deposited into a joint bank account, and both partners withdraw from it to pay for expenses and purchases. It's a simpler way to manage money and provides more transparency. However, some couples find it difficult to use this approach if they have different financial priorities or prefer some independence with their money.

  • Separate: If you opt for separate finances, you and your partner have your own accounts. You don't have access to your partner's bank account, and you can manage your money as you see fit. This approach can be a good option for those with different spending habits and goals, but it can lead to issues with transparency and make it difficult to track your progress toward common goals.

  • Hybrid: Some couples compromise with a hybrid approach. Each person maintains a separate bank account that they use for their personal or discretionary spending but also has a joint bank account to pay for shared bills and save for common goals. This strategy can be a good middle ground, providing some autonomy over personal spending.

Each approach has its own pros and cons, but open communication and regular check-ins can lessen the drawbacks and help you succeed as a couple.

Read more: Should unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?

Have an open conversation about your financial goals. To kickstart the conversation, ask your partner these questions:

  • At what age do you want to retire?

  • How often do you want to travel?

  • What kind of home do you want to own?

  • How stressful is debt to you?

  • If we have children, how will we help them with their education?

This conversation will allow you to work together to prioritize your financial goals and smooth out any discrepancies now (before you tie the knot).

Before you get married, it's important to understand where you both stand in terms of income and debt. It may not sound romantic, but finding out your partner has six figures in student loan debt or multiple maxed-out credit cards after you're married can crush the romance before the honeymoon is over.

Visit AnnualCreditReport.com to get copies your credit reports (it's free) and review them together. Each of your credit reports will list any debt under your names, including existing loans or credit cards. Make a note of outstanding balances and any accounts that are delinquent.

If you or your partner find incorrect or fraudulent information — such as a loan in your name that you didn't open — you can dispute those accounts with the major credit bureaus.

Once you know what outstanding loans and credit cards there are, you and your partner can develop a plan to repay them. You can use Money Management International's free Debt Payoff Table to stay organized, track your payments, and view your progress.

Read more: The best ways to pay off credit card debt

Now that you've discussed your financial priorities and know your debt situation, you can work together to create a household budget. This task is essential regardless of how you decide to manage your money as a couple; both those who maintain separate finances and those who manage their finances jointly can benefit from a household budget.

There are many budgeting apps, but you can also do it the old-fashioned way with a spreadsheet or piece of paper. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has a free budgeting worksheet you can use.

When creating a budget, consider all of your sources of income, along with fixed and variable expenses. If possible, try to include a category for "fun money" for each of you. Budgeting for little splurges or treats can reduce conflict or tension over spending habits.

Whether you intend to manage your finances jointly or with some separation, it's a good idea to have at least one joint checking account to cover your household bills and emergencies. Otherwise, you risk being unable to access the money if your partner is hurt or ill and can’t authorize any withdrawals.

You can decide how much you each contribute to the account. For example, you can deposit your entire paycheck, or you may decide to proportionally deposit a portion of your income based on your earnings.

For example, let's say your household expenses total $3,000 per month. You earn $4,000 per month, and your partner earns $2,000 per month. In this scenario, a 50/50 split may not make sense since you earn significantly more than your partner. Such a large discrepancy can cause conflicts.

Instead, calculate your contributions based on your income. In this case, your income makes up about 67% of your household earnings, so you'd contribute that amount to your joint household account. If your shared expenses total $3,000 per month, your share would be $2,010, and your partner would contribute the remaining $890.

This approach ensures you both have some money left over for other expenses and treats, so neither of you feels deprived.

Having shared credit card accounts allows you to manage your household spending more easily, and you can both earn valuable credit card rewards. However, joint credit cards aren't common, so you'll likely need to add your partner as an authorized user or ask them to add you to their existing credit card account.

One important note: Besides a joint or shared card, you need a card in your own name, too. If you're an authorized user and the worst should happen, and your spouse passes away, you'll no longer be able to use that credit card — not even for funeral expenses. Not having access to credit could leave you in a bind, so opening a new credit card in your own name for emergencies can provide some peace of mind.

It's a common mistake: People think that probate — the legal process that occurs after someone passes away to handle their estate — is unnecessary if you're married. Although you may have had joint accounts, your spouse likely had some accounts in their own name, such as their workplace retirement accounts. If you aren't a named beneficiary, the accounts will have to go through probate before the funds are distributed, which can take months.

You can avoid hiccups by adding each other as the beneficiaries on your existing accounts, including bank accounts, retirement plans, and life insurance policies.

Read more: What happens to a bank account when somebody dies?

Next, talk about what roles each of you will play in managing your finances. Decide if one person is responsible for paying bills, for example, and if one person is in charge of managing the household budget. Designating specific roles and tasks ensures all of your bills are paid on time and prevents miscommunication.

One of the best things you can do to manage your finances together is to schedule regular money dates. Calendar in a regular night once a month to review your budget and spending, track your progress toward your savings goals, and see how much debt you managed to pay off during the month.

Meeting regularly and openly discussing your finances ensures you're both on the same page and you're informed about what's going on. Periodic check-ins also help you both stay motivated to keep working toward those goals.

Read more: 5 money-saving apps to help you grow your wealth

Merging finances after marriage is a critical and significant step. While it may not be as fun as deciding on your signature wedding cocktail, taking the time to discuss your finances, your goals, and how to manage money as a team will help you build a solid foundation that will last you for decades to come.